There are some people who's writing style makes me want to meet them. They just sound happy and witty. Maybe that's true, maybe it's not. Either way though, they sound like a character and someone I want to know. We received a submission from just such a person. They took what might seem like a simple and frustrating story and spun it into one of awesomeness and wit. I love it. Then to boot...this submission is from a man. About 95% of our submissions are from women and girls, so it's always fun to see projects done from a man's point of view (because let's face it...men and women do think differently in general...neither is better or worse, we just think different). So today I give you witty and crafty Chris and his story of the doily lamp. I'll just fade out right here as Chris tells the story better than I ever could. I'll even just sign my name here rather than at the bottom because the rest of the post truly is Chris'.
The Original Pin
I've attached the beautiful picture of my efforts. GCT fail scale = 4. This photo was not my first attempt but my second. My wife found this delightful doilies lamp on Pinterest and asked if I would make it for our twin girls' nursery. Sure! Why not? It's for the CHILDREN, after all, isn't it? We had a measly two small doilies inherited from grandma. I found an antique market where I picked up a few more. At $6-8 a piece, I'd already dropped $50 bones on this project.
The instructions on the blog simply state: "The glue seemed to have just enough tack to hold them in place and I didn't have any problems with them falling off before they were dry." I found that the glue was the source of much angst and cursing of the Pinterest gods. The glue would not hold the doilies up against the bottom of the balloon. I glued doilies on the top half and let it dry. The next day I flipped the balloon over and glued doilies on the bottom half. I was nearing completion and success. The glue was dry, so I popped the balloon. It looked ... okay. A little distorted, but not bad. One of the doilies was tan instead of white, so I decided to spray paint it white. I took it out in the garage, hung it, and painted it. The next it looked... not okay. I don't know if it was the cold in the garage, or the moisture from the paint, but when I showed my wife, she just laughed and said, "Nailed it!"
I pulled up my boot straps and thought, "Now that I've done it once, I know how it works. My second time will be Pinterest Perfect!" I soaked and disassembled the doilies. Cleaning of the paint was not very successful, so I had the bright idea of running them in the washing machine with hot water. This choice gave me the opportunity of scraping tiny flecks of paint out of the inside of my washing machine.
Undeterred, I started on my second attempt. Glue the top one day, the bottom the next. You know what would make this job a lot easier? Glue in a spray bottle. Another $20 bones. No problem. I was just THINKING OF THE CHILDREN, and oh so happy. Imagine the delightful shadows they'll see on the walls and ceiling as their precious little eyes droop closed to peaceful slumber...
I wanted to avoid the cold of the garage, just in case. I carefully sprayed the glue onto my doilies right there over the kitchen counter. I draped newspaper underneath to protect the countertop.
Now my doilies were quite sticky, but I didn't worry about that. I was planning a coat of white spray paint. Surely the paint would cover the glue stickiness, help the doilies stick together, and cover that one tan doilies. One small corner of our unfinished basement would be a great place to spray paint. It wasn't as cold as the garage, but wouldn't be that big a deal if overspray got on the floors and walls. I spray painted, and thought, "Done!"
The next day I discovered what you see in the attached photo.
How did this happen? Did the balloon pop on its own? Was the glue too strong - did it make the doilies stick to the shriveled balloon? Was the glue not strong enough so the doilies couldn't hold their shape? These are questions that will remain unanswered by science, because I have a job and two twins to help take care of. I don't have time in my life for a third attempt on this multi-day project. I guess I'll be returning that lighting kit to Home Depot, so it's not a total loss.
And... what's this sticky stuff on the counter?